Chasing Ideals

I cannot say too much in this regard as my time in Poland has been concentrated in only a few areas and with a limited number of people. That said, of those Polish women that I have had contact with in the areas I have explored I noticed a trend with all to be very perfectionistic. I have noted a pronounced shame when any mistakes are made in trying to commmunicate in English. This is always surprising for me because I am always impressed at the ability so many have to communicate well in English even ten years out from their study of the language. Also when I make the mistake of asking if she (the proverbial she) understood what I said in English I am greeted with an "Of course" and a look that signals a mistake in the asking. Additionaly, while this may be a cultural difference I have noticed that many times when I ask questions about their lives or decisions made it is taken immediately as a criticism. It may be that people in Poland don't ask questions as I do but I am suprised at how often I have to be reassuring in that it was meant merely as a question. I can only speak from the outside of things but it seems as if there is tremendous pressure on young women and older to perform and to be successful in all things. It may be that this pressure is just as strong for men but in my interactions with them I have not seen it nearly so strongly. Perhaps it is the result of a country trying to catch up to its western neighbors. In the face of progress it is easy for such pressure to become overwhelming for individuals trying to fit with this mode.

I had the unfortunate pleasure last Sunday to meet two chaps traveling through Poland and Eastern Europe on their holidays. Their two week venture was a blur of parties, alcohol consumption, and chasing after what loose women they could get their hands on. This was in no way the first time I had heard chaps tell me of such exploits but the difference here was that both were in their early thirties. It was also strange that both had mature ideas about their careers and were working in positions that they enjoyed as teachers. I don't know if in the past I met men of this age who were still chasing the teenage fantasy of the next big party. They boasted heavily of the degrading situations they had found themselves in along the way and how they relished finding further clubs and pubs in which to drink into a stupor and chase after much younger women. To my shame I pretended to seem interested in these things though I think I didn't do a convincing job as they were obviously suprised that I didn't think them my heroes after what they had done.

Upon happily leaving their company and the riveting conversation I thought about them and how so many people are chasing similar dreams though perhaps more socially acceptable ones. These two were chasing a lifestyle that will never satisfy and will keep them searching for the next alkohole (Polish word for liquor store) and the next willing women (remembrances of these two in the future may lead me to want to lock up my daughters out of fear of their paths crossing). Others chase after the next big house, car, athletic goal or a position on the never ending career ladder. All of these things when achieved provide merely temporary satisfaction before a new goal or material possession must be set before such a person as the prize. If I had this time with them again I would beg the question if any of what they had done in life had ever brought to them an ounce of contentment or fulfillment in this existence that lasted more then a brief moment. At least I hope I would beg that question though I must remember that I have been taught well by society to keep my mouth shut in such situations and pretend that I think it is really cool how they choose to spend their time. These societal rules need to be removed to the slop bucket as they only foster an inability in us to make any impact in the lives of those around us.