Chasing Ideals

I did not mention this in the last post because it is on a very different note. You should read the last post first. As I was leaving Plitvice NP on Sunday the underside of my car hit something and within a minute the hydraulic fluid had all leaked out. Immediately memories hit me like a tidal wave of all that had happened in Krakow (the negative end) and I allowed myself to be overwhelmed with worries about what I was going to do. The entire drive back to where I was staying I fretted over every possible scenario. This in the midst of meeting such incredible people and having just visited the awe inspiring Plitvice. Instead of trusting God and choosing to block these worries I allowed them to pummel me. I asked the people I was staying with to help me find a repair shop and immediately they began thinking of what they could do. They also told me to spend time with them watching television instead of staying in my room worrying (they only said the first part). Later in the evening the boyfriend of the daughter and his father came and tried to diagnose the problem. They went and bought hydraulic fluid and then put it in to determine where the leak was. All of this late in the evening on a Sunday. I could tell they wanted desperately for me not to have to go and pay for expensive repairs. When we discovered it did need the repair shop they were dissapointed to not be able to fix it for me. I was shown where the repair shop was so could go there the next morning (Monday). It is incredible to experience support from total strangers in these moments. It is a jolting reminder of the care and attention my savior pays to my life. Before going to sleep I once again allowed myself to be pummeled with worries about what could and might go wrong. I would stop dwelling on it for a short time before letting the thoughts come again in waves.

The next morning I headed off somewhat relieved after sleeping but also that I had a plan. The concern and support of the family I was staying with also lifted my spirits. I arrived to the repair shop shortly after eight but had to wait for quite a while to be signed in. Work began on my car rather quickly but was not completed until after 2pm that afternoon. This was the result of them not having some part or another on hand. I had settled into a book that made me laugh uproariously (unusual for me) in a number of places and so I hardly was aware of the passing time. I was content knowing that the problem was being fixed. When all was complete I was amazed to discover that the mechanic charged for only an hour of labor and had found a good used part to replace what was needed. A brand new part would have cost three times as much and in this case it was considerable. I had prayed that someone with integrity would fix my car and in the short time speaking with him this man proved to be just that. When I left the shop I was so overwhelmed at how God had orchestrated everything for me despite my worrying and distrust. I felt his love and care so strongly in that drive back. There is no part of my life that he does not care for and will not support me in. I also felt strongly that I can never come close to loving him in the fullness that he loves me. That is a hard realization to have to swallow. It is a definite hit to the old pride to realize that I can never be so faithful to him as he is to me. It is nice to think that I am strong and will not allow worry to overwhelm me but this is not so. That is not the last time I will fight and lose against it. How refreshing to know in that that my Savior is with me for all eternity and his love and faithfulness will never change.

I arrived here in Croatia last Friday afternoon and was immediately impressed by the beauty of the countryside. I had just come from rather arid Hungary and was expecting more of the same. In spite of the rain however I could see that I had entered a land of green sprawling hills and villages of red brick houses. The beauty of this type of landscape is never lost on me and so I relished the drive. Sadly, the sun is setting much earlier these days and I began to be concerned about finding a roof for the night once evening fell. I had a plan to at least get within a short distance of Plitvice National Park (first spot on the itinery) and was blessed to find a house offering rooms upon reaching the road that led there. I ended up staying four nights here though I had only planned one. Here I was made to feel at home from the start and each day I not only explored the surroundings but spent time learning about this family and the history of this place. God continually leads me to where I need to be. I spent each morning and evening talking with the mother and daughter of the house and was blessed and encouraged as always to experience relationship. This family has been through so much during and after the war here last decade and yet could be so good to me on my journey. In the future if I again find myself in that area I have been summoned to visit them and tell of my travels. When I left Tuesday I felt so refreshed by those days and overwhelmed at the beauty of this country. Tuesday I drove to the coast but not before passing through an area that I felt I could sod France in favor of. It was a valley of green pressed between mountains of more green. At least in terms of landscape this country has what my heart longs for. I cannot say what the future holds but I can say there were many urges to let the car roll off a cliff and to set up shop there forever.

You have seen a few pictures from my arrival at the coast and more are on the way soon. I am envious of those who first set foot upon these shores and swam as I did today in the splendiforous Mediterranean. I found a tiny harbour at the tip of Pag island and relaxed in its splendor all afternoon. Being there inspired one toward learning to sail and building a stone beach house with one's bare hands. As I said earlier to live amidst that green but be within ours of this blue gives definite pause about the need to ever leave. I had not expected for this place to capture my awe in the way that it has but here's to expectations. Tomorrow I will continue on down the coast toward Split and next week to Dubrovnik. I will attempt to post whenever I can though I must say that there are times I do not have the words. My creator longs to leave me speechless in my experience of his creativity and here he has done so in a manner most pleasing. New pictures are on Lovable Quirks. The first eight are Slovakia and after that Croatia.

I have wanted to add this post for some time but have not had the opportunity to give it due thought. I recently completed the book by that title and found it both heartwrenching and encouraging in its account. The heartwrenching aspect was that of reading how the settlers and the United States government worked in conjunction to strip from the Native Americans not only their land but their culture also. It is not unusual to read of conquest but the difference here was that throughout promises were made and broken. Many of the tribes discussed worked to maintain peace and live according to the regulations that their conquerors put forth. The swarms of settlers however were never satisfied to allow any useful land to remain in the hands of the tribes. Tribes were pushed to smaller and smaller reservations in places where nothing of their previous lifestyle could be maintained. I felt I was reading of not only the physical destruction of a people but more emphatically the attempt at cultural destruction. Men and women who had once proudly roamed that vast continent were forced into caged areas with no hope of maintaining any of their former freedom.

My encouragement came in reading of the actions of many of the chiefs. I have grown up observing the lives of men who are slaves to their careers and to the maintainance of false images. Others like myself in the past who are enslaved by selfish thoughts and do nothing to benefit the lives of others. Christians who choose slavery to false doctrines and sinful lives over the freedom that Christ not only offers but will give if we choose it. Here I had the opportunity to read about men who were unwilling to have their freedom taken away. Chief Joseph, Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse, these are the type of men that I desire to emulate. Not perhaps in the same means but having the same attitude that I will not allow my freedom to be taken from me. I don't wish to follow what society or other people tell me that I must be and do and think. Those men knew what cages were set out for their people and they gave their lives to avoiding them. I tried to imagine after reading this and lately being surrounded by such expanses of nature. To imagine riding out toward herds of over a million buffalo or traveling over huge expanses of land without encountering a single person. I could compare it to the incredible freedom that comes with understanding why I am on this earth and with knowing who my creator is. If that freedom in Christ was threatened what would I do. I hope that I would act and lead others as these men did. Not blame circumstance and past experiences and do nothing. They left behind big shoes to fill in what remains of their people and a legacy of how far true men should go to maintain their freedom. I feel as though I did not say all or clearly what I wished to say in this post but I'm not sure I can adequately accomplish that task.