Some of you who have had the disturbing pleasure to view the movie by that title may understand this post better. This was by no means the first movie I have seen of its type but this made an impact on me to watch more than others for some reason. In my heart I was very much disturbed by the awful awful (there's two for a reason) reality portrayed in this movie. Close to the end I decided that I had no desire to see the final portion as what I had seen already was so difficult to watch that I felt I needed no ending. The plot contains one man who is trying desperately to live as a Christian but has a severely warped view of how to do this. In the middle of the movie he kills a man and two children in a hit and run and his whole life and beliefs are shattered by the event. Another main character is the wife and mother of those killed and she turns to drugs and an extremely selfish existence to deal with her loss. She is later joined in a relationship with another character who is also as selfish a person as there is at least in my opinion. I left out some detail but realized in writing that some may now be on edge to view this movie. It was a movie that tried to display all of the horror of grief and selfishness and religion and death. I had to ask myself why I was viewing this movie, how could I possibly benefit from being exposed to such horror. I also realized that so many time in my life I have opened my mind to similar movies and allowed my mind to be seared by the awful realities of the movies and television I have viewed. In the past I have watched terrible violence and death in movies and video games and in the "news" and I have seen that no longer do my emotions even begin to react to what I am seeing.

I thought before I fell asleep that I must change this. For myself and for those I love I want to be like the father in "Life is Beautiful" who shielded his son from the horror of the Holocaust. He did not want his son to be scarred by the awful reality of the concentration camp and so he did all he could to hide it. I don't understand why we have a fascination in society today with exposing all of the gruesome aspects of life even to children who emotionally could not be ready for it. Why is it that we choose to expose ourselves to these things? could we name one benefit from it? I at least right now can see nothing of benefit, only harm and want to make great effort in the future to protect what is left of my emotional response to the harshness of this world.

Success is mine at last. I have finally added some new pictures to Lovable Quirks. The photos from Lithuania start with my time at the camp with the Brazilians and the trips we took to the surrounding area. The last few rows of photos are from my journeying out of Lithuania. The copious amount of cross pictures were taken at the "Hill of Crosses" located in the center of Lithuania. The crosses were placed to memorialize the deaths and imprisonments of thousands of Lithuanians in the last century. At one point the occupying Russians bulldozed the site during the communist years but it was slowly recreated by the people of the country. The last few pictures of that album are to give some small idea of the Lithuanian landscape. The majority is flat landscape dotted sparsely with old farmhouses and small villages. In the Krakow album I have one picture of Elzbieta by herself and another with her and her husband Damien. There may have been more but I was quickly aware that they had no desire to be photographed often.

The most recent album chronologically speaking is of my time here in Nowy Sanz and of the wonderful weekend I spend hiking in the Tatras. The first day at the Tatras, Sunday, myself and Marcin did about a six hour hike to the top of one of the peaks. I was surprised at my ability to do such a hike with ease despite how long it has been since I have done any serious hiking. I have chalked it up to the incredibly fresh air in the region and the 1/4 Polak blook flowing through the old veins. In the short time since my arrival last week Tuesday Marcin's English has improved by leaps and bounds and each day he remembers more and more that he learned in high school. The hike up gave us plenty of time to chat and made the journey seem altogether short. The following day, Monday, myself and Milka set out at about 8:30 and did not return until almost 8:30 in the evening. We did a much longer trek that included hiking along the tops of some of the larger mountains in the Polish Tatras. The hike along the tops was much more difficult partly because the whether during that part of our adventure was cold and raining. For most of that portion you must use chains and in some places ladders to be able to climb along. I was realizing in some of those moments that 12 years ago I probably would have soiled myself considering the height we were climbing at and the difficulty of some areas of the climb. I was never one for ladders and at one point in this climb was on a ladder with only a sheer drop beneath me. As a result of the weather we did not hike as far along the tops as we might have otherwise. We were both soaked with the rain and did not dry for some time on the hike down. Unfortunately until last night I did not recover from getting so soaked. The minimal quantity of body fat I have allowed the chill from the rain to seep to my bones and for the last two days I felt a chill constantly but all is well today. I had a lot of fun that day chatting to Milka. She is an English teacher and I decided I would test her knowledge of old English terms and some old fashioned slang terms. It was a good excuse for me to use as many big words as I could think of. I am not sure if she appreciated a full day of this but I think that at least portions of our conversations were interesting for her. I am really glad that they went with me to explore the mountains as they knew much more about the area than I and chose hikes that are free from the masses of tourists that frequent this area of Poland.

The weather here seems to have come to an abrubt change over the last four days. At least here in Poland I think that Autumn may have reared its head. It began with the last day at the Tatras where by evening we were seeing are breath and when we returned to Nowy Sanz that night it wasn't much warmer here. For the last days it has been raining consistently and the temperatures are much lower. Now that I'm feeling better I'm thinking that Saturday will probably signal my time to vamoose. I have had a wonderful time here being able to just relax and spend time with Marcin and Milka in a very beautiful part of Poland. Enjoy the pics. Love to all. Your world traveler and now hiking enthusiast (maybe not quite yet)

I cannot say too much in this regard as my time in Poland has been concentrated in only a few areas and with a limited number of people. That said, of those Polish women that I have had contact with in the areas I have explored I noticed a trend with all to be very perfectionistic. I have noted a pronounced shame when any mistakes are made in trying to commmunicate in English. This is always surprising for me because I am always impressed at the ability so many have to communicate well in English even ten years out from their study of the language. Also when I make the mistake of asking if she (the proverbial she) understood what I said in English I am greeted with an "Of course" and a look that signals a mistake in the asking. Additionaly, while this may be a cultural difference I have noticed that many times when I ask questions about their lives or decisions made it is taken immediately as a criticism. It may be that people in Poland don't ask questions as I do but I am suprised at how often I have to be reassuring in that it was meant merely as a question. I can only speak from the outside of things but it seems as if there is tremendous pressure on young women and older to perform and to be successful in all things. It may be that this pressure is just as strong for men but in my interactions with them I have not seen it nearly so strongly. Perhaps it is the result of a country trying to catch up to its western neighbors. In the face of progress it is easy for such pressure to become overwhelming for individuals trying to fit with this mode.

I had the unfortunate pleasure last Sunday to meet two chaps traveling through Poland and Eastern Europe on their holidays. Their two week venture was a blur of parties, alcohol consumption, and chasing after what loose women they could get their hands on. This was in no way the first time I had heard chaps tell me of such exploits but the difference here was that both were in their early thirties. It was also strange that both had mature ideas about their careers and were working in positions that they enjoyed as teachers. I don't know if in the past I met men of this age who were still chasing the teenage fantasy of the next big party. They boasted heavily of the degrading situations they had found themselves in along the way and how they relished finding further clubs and pubs in which to drink into a stupor and chase after much younger women. To my shame I pretended to seem interested in these things though I think I didn't do a convincing job as they were obviously suprised that I didn't think them my heroes after what they had done.

Upon happily leaving their company and the riveting conversation I thought about them and how so many people are chasing similar dreams though perhaps more socially acceptable ones. These two were chasing a lifestyle that will never satisfy and will keep them searching for the next alkohole (Polish word for liquor store) and the next willing women (remembrances of these two in the future may lead me to want to lock up my daughters out of fear of their paths crossing). Others chase after the next big house, car, athletic goal or a position on the never ending career ladder. All of these things when achieved provide merely temporary satisfaction before a new goal or material possession must be set before such a person as the prize. If I had this time with them again I would beg the question if any of what they had done in life had ever brought to them an ounce of contentment or fulfillment in this existence that lasted more then a brief moment. At least I hope I would beg that question though I must remember that I have been taught well by society to keep my mouth shut in such situations and pretend that I think it is really cool how they choose to spend their time. These societal rules need to be removed to the slop bucket as they only foster an inability in us to make any impact in the lives of those around us.

I have yet been unable to post any new pictures but hopefully in the next few days I can do so. I have since Tuesday been staying here in Nowy Sanz with Marcin, Milka, and their son Nicodem. You might remember that I met them in the first week staying with Nancy and Wiesieck. I had been invited in that time to come and stay with them and was looking forward to the chance to be here as it is a small town near the Tatra Mountains. Since my arrival I have spent most of my time relaxing and enjoying their company and the chance to once again feel at home in someone else's home. The Polish I think come from the same school as the Irish when it comes to hospitality and their welcoming of outsiders. After a difficult period in Krakow it is wonderful to just relax and enjoy a new place.

On Thursday I went to a nearby village with Milka and Nicodem and we walked for most of the day through the hills around that village. It was a beautiful area and air was as fresh as any in these lungs for quite some time. I have learned as well that on my journey I must balance my time in cities with plenty of time away from them otherwise each city begins to look the same and monuments in those cities become objects to check off having seen in my europe guide. This journey also wouldn't be nearly so meaningful without the many opportunities I have had to build real relationships with people and even if only for a short time to become a part of their lives and them mine. Tomorrow morning we will go together to a village near Zakopane and spend the next to days exploring the Tatras. I'm looking forward to doing some hiking especially in such a beautiful area as this. I was never one for hiking in Arizona because the landscape there did it for me the way that a root canal might. Here on the other hand I am surrounded with grass and trees and wild flowers and the hiking juices have emerged from the depths. I may or may not be able to post while there but if not I will add more before leaving here for Slovakia next week.

It has taken an unforgiveably long time to get this one up but I have certainly gained a more realistic outlook on the capacity for internet communication in Eastern Europe. Since the last posts I have been on my merry way from Krakow here to Nowy Sanz, a stone's throw from the Tatra Mountains and the Slovakian border. My lasts two days in Krakow were needless to say as eventful as all previous had been. On Monday as I had said I was to be picked up by Damien from the campground and taken to the mechanic's where my car would be waiting and I would ride off into the sunset. Unfortunately, when I arrived at the mechanic's my car was lifted eight feet off the ground and as yet not a scrap of work had been done other than a diagnosis of the problem. I had been assured Friday that whatever the problem was would be fixed immediately but apparently Monday they decided that I should be consulted first though the problem was as it was thought to be. At this point the whole affair was comedic so I was far from being upset by it.

A discussion then ensued about where I was to sleep as it was four in the afternoon and the work couldn't possibly be completed so late in the day. The garden was offered for me to pitch my tent though I would be without a toilet throughout the night which I figured I could handle barring any major bouts of eating or drinking. At some point in all of this a neighbor had joined the conversation and upon learning of my perdicament he offered his home for the night. I was again assured that the work would be completed in the morning and then was led off to the neighbor's home. His wife and son were away so he said it was no problem to have me sleep there. For dinner I was given a marvelous slab of tuna which he kept apologizing for saying it was poor quality. It was perhaps the finest tuna I have eaten so I tried to reassure him that I thought it marvelous. It should be made clear that though he spoke some English it was still a very limited conversation. He was a very friendly man and enjoyed trying to tell me about his wife and children. All evening we had short chats that ended with him saying he was off to bed and then returning to talk briefly again. I ate and slept well and early in the morning, he had to go to work, was escorted back to the mechanic's to wait until the work on my car would commence.

To make this story short the mechanics packed one hour of work into about six hours. The majority of the time was spent in the shop office smoking an incredible number of cigarettes and drinking the local ale. Intermittant calls were made to order parts that they needed but even this was done not all at one time but strategically seperated to spread out the work (judging from the number of cigarettes the frequent breaks may have been out of necessity) and still have my car completed in time for the end of their day (about 2pm). Sadly for me the price for the repairs hardly reflected this but I was at no readiness to argue price in Polish and was also just ready to have my car back and hit the road. They obviously overcharged me being well aware of my foreigness but I am happy in one thing that I was overcharged in zlotys and not in euros. Upon completion I headed straight away for Nowy Sanz. My time in Krakow, while being the most expensive stop thus far, was a joy of new relationships and an incredible reminder of the faithfulness of my Savior.