Bigger group, now a married man, far more comfortable equipment, vastly different experience. A sign of the emptiness of the modern Christian church. Money enough to put together huge events complete with concerts, artistic workshops, all the fluff and hype and entertainment that one might seek. Where the evidence however that the problems, the questions of life are not solved in entertainment but only distracted by such? What does it mean when the appearance of the church and its works are in substance the same as anywhere else or copies only of that which others have done? How might one be filled with the spirit of the life of Christ and yet hide that spirit where it is unlikely to be found? Can one then truly claim to have that spirit living inside themself? Serious questions to be raised as these after that experience.

Despite its claim of having been created by Christians as a way to exemplify the reality of Christ, little or no evidence was to be found. All of Christ was hidden behind a smokescreen of acceptance of all things and even encouragement from center stage of lifestyle choices which oppose all that Christ represented. To show Christ to the world through mediums which all can appreciate and enjoy is far and away commendable, however if in the creation and expression of those mediums all of Christ is lost then that presentation becomes more a source of confusion than of understanding. Promoting that which is evil under the guise of desiring to draw people together. Implying that the outpouring of and the hope obtained through life in Christ is the same as that of any other. Teenagers and adults alike being fed the same lie that God does not care how one lives so long as all are comfortable and may come together peaceably. We are not called to share Christ with others in this world through becoming that world but rather by showing that only in Christ is there to be found the richness of creativity and understanding and purpose and hope and love that all of us seek.

A word about creativity. Why is it that in hearing the first twenty seconds of any song I can immediately tell whether it is Christian music? Might it be that the creativity of the church amounts currently to copying the same popular format over and over, venturing out only when a band realizes that by exactly copying the style popular outside the church that fame might be grasped. It is odd to claim one's deep connection with the source of life and yet be unable to venture creatively beyond what another who claims no heritage greater than evolved apehood might accomplish. If I wish to claim that I have been created unique from all others I hope that my creative exploits would be evidence of such. The church, the Christian world in general has developed well its set of formulas for attracting entertainment and hype seekers but in doing so has lost most if not all of its credibility, the originality and radicality and earth shattering quality of the life that Christ lived.

Two days out of four. All Ruth and I could handle of the event that masked compromise with fine purpose statements. In those two days we managed to join some of the activities and most thankfully managed to fill some time with purpose filled conversation among fellow camp go-ers. Conversation about the proclaimed reason for the occasion, the truth behind the life and statements of Christ. On Friday morning however we decided that some amount of enjoyment amidst huge amounts of dissapointment at the attitude behind the event was not enough. For us, with eyes to see the truth behind the facade, perhaps it can be fought through; but having six teenagers with us also who cannot so well recognize the truth, that is intolerable. An environment like that, attracting youth of all ages can create such confusion within the heart and mind, implying that nothing is firm but that all is relative.

Together with Nancy (who was also there) we decided that it was time to go, that there was no good to be gained from remaining longer. I especially wished to speak with the director of the festival, even to ask for some portion of our entrance fee to be refunded, passionate that I am against anything so false as what we experienced. The three of us together with the kids headed over together to information then to ask for a chance to converse. We had to wait half an hour for in that time the "leaders" were in a meeting. When the meeting ended I together with Ruth and Tymek found the director and I asked if we could speak. It seemed then that perhaps he was prepared for the meeting (Nancy had mentioned our situation to one of the leaders she knew, the one who had created the festival long ago). When the director realized that I could understand Polish he used that to his advantage to throw at me a throng of partial arguments, claiming primarily that it is not a Christian festival so there can be no claim against anti-Christian activities taking place. This while also claiming his own Christianity, acknowledging what the camp manual says about it being created by like minded Christians, and also arguing that he cannot control the behavior particularly of concert performers (to be remembered of course is that the concerts encompass all of the camp activity in the late afternoon and evening) though he said that he had asked of them not to do certain things on stage. A fruitless conversation, mostly displaying his lack of desire to have anyone question the attitude of the festival or the output thereof. He focused also on the fact that since we purchased our tickets early for the festival that there was no way to obtain any refund, no matter what we thought of the quality or truthfulness of its claims and activities. It seemed that he thought it was humorous for us to expect the event to be anything other than what it was. When we went instead to speak with the man mentioned earlier who created the festival he was rude and dismissive. Speaking with the festival's creator then was perhaps even less fruitful in that he wished only to continually claim that he hadn't seen the anti-Christian promotions that we had seen. When asked why an event created by Christians would promote such things he said only that the event itself is not Christian and he has a different view of what it means to evangelize. His body language was such that he continually turned away from me as he felt more comfortable arguing with Nancy that he had not seen the promotions on stage that we had seen. He kept saying he had no time to talk and eventually left the conversation with a dismissive hand motion. An attitude frequently experienced, Christians wanting no questioning of their actions from others, claiming that all is relative depending on one's own understanding of God, not what is ultimately His way and truth. An attitude that is doing the failing church proud, never challenging one another about the way we live and how alike our lives look to those of everyone else. Thinking that the way to attract new converts is by creating an environment in which no one will feel uncomfortable and all is acceptable. A strange perspective considering the incredible convictions of Christ and the persecution He and so many of His followers experienced and died under.

No chance to be heard and more resolved to leave that place most especially to protect the youth with us from such attitudes and the spirit behind the place. We returned and packed up our things, that taking longer because of brief rain storms and the need to nourish. The teenagers also did not understand the need to go with the same conviction so they also did not prepare with the same vigor. We weren't sure in that time where we would go as Nancy and her gang of two had one direction in mind and we another. By afternoon however we had two homes where we could stay, Nancy with her two on one side of the city close by and we at another with a train to catch in the morning to Warsaw. The place we ended up staying with our group of four was such a gift that it soothed the frustrations of the day. The woman we stayed with took such good care of us that it was easy to forget the frustrating conversations of the morning, the awareness of the heaviness of the spirit behind that place, and the difficulty we experienced in packing up. I am thankful to God in all that that everything worked out so well and that I and Ruth especially could have the relief of distancing ourselves and the youth with us from that false example of Christ's love. It was wonderful to be able together with Ruth to be so convicted about the spirit of that place and the need to protect the youth with us from it. It creates such a confidence in me about our future together to know that she also does not tolerate those compromises in herself and others that are so evident in the church. That we can support one another in standing for what is right and true and protecting especially youth around us from such falsity as is so often produced. I am sorry that these posts have not appeared more frequently, that I haven't kept you all more informed about life's goings on. I hope that that will soon change in the direction of more frequent but we shall see.