Chasing Ideals

How does it feel to enjoy the daily company of my family after so long? In a word, tremendous and stupendous. I have not had an adequate collection of moments to try to put to words the emotion of the experiences of my return. I am overwhelmed by full days experiencing the oft overwhelming joy of getting to spend uninterrupted hours with those that helped to shape my life previous to this adventure. It is easier for me to attempt to describe some of the highlights and lowlights of these first weeks.

Week one brought the family trip to Prescott and the chance for all but one of us to be joined under one roof for nearly 24 hours (in emotional terms this being relationship ectasy). I was so excited at the prospect of such a gathering. In the evening we played a game of Pictionary on the game board that has served my fam for over 15 years. The memories of previous games played together through the years, the special connection that allows me to decipher that the scribbles and jumbled mess Aran was drawing meant "casino" or "laughter" or whatever else, the intimate proximity of those that mean so much to me combined to result in a giddy joy in the experience of every moment. The night also included my first ever real conversation with the little redhead that captured her uncle's heart first almost four years ago. Faith has grown so much since my departure not only in height but in her ability to communicate. Sitting outside and talking with her reminded of the blessing of having been a part of the journey of her first years and to be able to hear the words "I missed you uncle."

The morning hours of day two in Prescott brought a breakfast of thick porridge in the style I've eaten many a day during my youth. Some time later we were in the throws of a pillow fight in the main living room tossing Sealy's finest dangerously close to expensive lamps and decorative items. At one point my mother emerged to complain about the reckless nature of our pillow throwing considering the decoratives but she was cut short by yours truly and a thick pillow to the chin. She immediately grabbed the nearest pillow and hurled it back at me forgetting all about lamps and what nots and joining in the tomfoolery. At lunch time I was summoned to the barbeque and the task of lighting the coals. Repeated and failed attempts led to Ken risking my life and limb by dousing the coals with enough lighter fluid to set the house ablaze. The moment I held a match above the little black beauties (coals that is) there was a burst of flame that singed the little hairs on my fingers and a third of the way up my arm. No harm done just a brief moment of having life's particulars flash before my eyes. These are precious moments that though seemingly inconsequential are memories of this time together that I will keep close to my heart.

I have decribed some of the highlights and need to qualify the lowlights. I don't wish to limit the overwhelming happiness of those 24 hours together but to describe the sense of loss that those 24 could not continue for the duration of my time here. When the time came to leave and upon returning to Phoenix I was hit with a dreadful sadness. It was a wishing that the needs of life need not return for my family so soon. That we could stay in that place together for many more days and many more meals and further games of Pictionary or whatever else. The notion is unrealistic and time reminded me of this but for some hours I was angry that the pressures of life reared their ugly head so soon. At these times I am so thankful for the knowledge that when I am joined with my savior the pressures of this life will no longer be able to seperate me from those that I love. Thankful also that my growing family can still come together under one roof to laugh and play and converse and all else. It was a harsh reminder of the realities of hectic life but an occasion that has not affected the days since and the incredible enjoyment of the days and intimate time with all since.

This is only a beginning, one occasion in a myriad of treasured moments, and there will be more to come as soon as time and opportunity for reflection allows. There are plenty of pictures up for a visual feast so take a gander at the newest.

Just to let the Phoenicians know I will arrive there tomorrow night at about 9pm. It is hardly real in my mind and heart as of yet but I know as the country and then city approaches my heart will be full with expectation and joy at seeing everyone.

Another journey, new relationships, journeying tomorrow back to my home for the last 13 years. Saturday afternoon I came back here to Germany for a three day hiatus before my familyward voyage. I left Poland to the tune of "When will you return?" and "Why don't you move to Poland?" and "No Skyler, you can't leave." If it were not for the promise of seeing my family so soon I would have found it so much harder to leave Bojano and my treasured family there. I long for the day when goodbyes and a feeling of loss are no longer my expectation. Certainly modern technology provides so much in the way of communication but can never replace the beauty and intimacy of physical presence. I cannot yet envisage the reality of setting foot in Phoenix once more and being with those that have shared so many of the moments of my life. It does not seem possible after almost a year having had only the sound of their voices and two visits to comfort me in the abscence. I count it such a gift that I can return now to enjoy the wonder of my family's newest member have intimate time with each.

I have the testimony of another to share from yesterday that so inspired and uplifted me. I met a woman named Gloria whose four month old child is in hospital connected to a machine to perform the action of the child's lungs. She was told by doctors that her child has only days to live and that the operation performed on her child had statistically no chance of success. So far her baby has survived through all that doctors said she would not. Her baby continues to live and in the midst of the negativity and hopelessness of the situation God has given her such a peace and a confidence in knowing that he will and is going to rescue her daughter. I have never met one in such a situation who was so full of faith that God would do as he promised and take care of her daughter. Instead of hopeless resignation Gloria is filled with hope that not only will her baby will live but that she will live a full and purpose filled life. It was an incredible reminder for me of the love and care that our Savior has for us and that he can bring peace and confidence though all hope seems lost.

Take a look at my last photo album from Poland. Some last activties with the chillins are shown. Also take a gander at the videos below from the last two days of my visit. Hopefully the viewing will bring some joy as these and so many other moments brought to my life.

Messing with Happy the Dog

Soup slurps

Sing-A-Long Pawel

The kids and I have developed a love for that word "ghastly" after the viewing of some old English television programs the other night. I haven't posted in the last week because nothing tremendously noteworthy has taken place. That is not to say that each day isn't crammed with activity of the most wonderful sort but when I try to sit and write or have time to write I feel I can hardly do so. The joy of activity here is that it is living life activity where I have become an integral part of this household these past weeks and of the life of this family. That is how I long for my life to be lived each day wherever I am. I regret not being able to write as I enjoy it so thoroughly but in the face of time with Nancy and the children here it will always come second.

If you take a gander at the "Month of Memories" and "Plenty more activities..." albums on Lovable Quirks you will see some of the things that have been going on. In that first album somewhere in the middle are pictures of Wiesieck's mother and brother whom we visited last week in the center of Gdansk. In the "Plenty..." album at the beginning are photos of a friend of the family and now my friend Anya and her children. She is a wonderful woman who's love for her children is so undisguised and her ability to chat about the things in this life that truly matter made all visits with her refreshing and marvelous. In the middle of that album you can see some from our ice skating experience. A second attempt for myself and thankfully an improved one. I still look a bit like a cripple as one leg pushed me round the rink while the other dragged in a distinctly dead looking fashion. I couldn't get the dragged leg to offer anything on the pushing angle no matter how I tried. No tush breaking falls to report from our sliding hour though so a success I'd say. You'll notice from the pictures in that album that the weather has taken a distinct turn. No more falling snow. Now we have sunny days and the beginnings of some spring growth. A fine chance before I go to spend more time outside.

A last mentionable was my exquisite success of today in making some splendiforous sourdough bread. One of my finest loafs I must say. The smell and taste of the final product reminded me of my first home in Ireland and the miraculous bread making hands of mother. I will try to write a little more before my departure back to Germany on Saturday. Each day brings me ever closer to my return to Phoenix, an incredible reality after almost a year without setting foot there.