It must be said that few moochers have ever the opportunity to perfect their trade at the international level. For four years no less. How then does it feel to hang up that heavy hat and be manacled in once more to the world of the glorious paycheck and the deadline? When we arrived here in the hustling bustling Slovenian capital (Ljubljana with its 300,000 invisible residents), 'twas not a question this time of if I could work but when and how. How was it to be done? My arriving level in the “limba Slovena” allowed me to meet with a grin and depart with a look of confusion, but that was it. Not quite enough to burst into managerial offices about the town and beg for a steady stream of the Benjamins. Who out there is seeking new trainees who haven't done an honest formal day's since before the invention of blu-ray?

Before I get ahead of myself, how also are we going to find a place to lay the ol' heads? Not much purpose in a stellar 9‒5 when you'll be sleeping out in back of the building. When we arrived, we knew that more than a few days of hosteling would scorch the finances in an unacceptable fashion, so apartment hunting was an absolute must. In such a moment, it's important to wander in search of the tallest, most amicable looking Slovene about and ask that fellow for assistance. If he happens to be packing a smile, conveniently sized GPS system, and plenty of local cell phone minutes, then by all means latch on. Miraculously, our fervent search is accompanied by Benjamin, an old chum and comrade, one who fits all of the aforementioned bill. He noted his willingness and availability right from the get-go and did not disappoint. Starting day one, after one night in ridiculously overpriced (until day two when we realized the massive price difference when booking online) Celica hostel, we are off to scour the area. Said scouring begins at a local cafe (free wireless for the over fives') where Benjamin translates a horde of delightful sounding offers which speak of tasteful kitchens, views of the sweetest meadows, and landlords who'll offer eldest daughters if the price suits. First hopes are high as kites flying over those sweet meadows and the calling begins. Almost every one comes back with the response that gobshites looking for a one month stay should look elsewhere. Most often, it is students offering the spots and they aren't expecting the proverbial short term commitment (we are only after a month for now to get the lay of the land). The only two spots that we do actually get to look at have all the gloom accessory of scumbag central, and needless to say we don't want this blossoming fam to remain a month in the midst. Benjamin, at some point in the day, texts about 7000 local salsa enthusiasts (his current friend base of choice) and asks them for the skinny on the local apartment scene. A few texts come back with possible leads but nothing concrete. One day is not going to be enough to deter our efforts, however. What we need is an older lassie. One who will understand our plight: man with ridiculous hairdo leading Romanian wife and unborn child across the continent in search of home. When we find that bird we'll have found our spot.

That evening I would like to say that all is well in Christendom but sadly I would be lying to do so. The extent of travel, the hope of finding home and place, and the number of swarthy students in sweats telling us to sod off, it all combines to give the emotions a keen body-slam. I'm fine until we get up to our new room in Celica (hostel in renovated prison, each sleeping room a uniquely designed cell) but then the black cloud descends in all its fury. A legion of worries cram to fill all spaces my mind can withstand. With the day's pounding fully felt, I feel near powerless to stave them off. Ruth, marvelous support that she has become in these most stressful days, tries her finest to set my mind at ease. I wish in that moment to believe her words of comfort, but on this particular night it is not to be. The truth is I don't want to believe them. The early months of the year were filled with a constant sense of worry regarding what our future holds, and I as soon to be father had definitely carried an excess of it. I ponder whether I have the energy to attempt now this new chapter of life. I have pioneered before but never with a baby on the way. That dynamic brings a brand new weight to the current stream of thought. When we left Phoenix, I knew that I knew that we were not meant to stay, but that knowledge now does not make embarking in a brand new place any the easier. New language, new needs, urgent desire to find an apartment and a way to earn our keep. I'm not ready for it. I'm not reading for the thought that this may not work. I need Him desperately now. I need to know the closeness of my Father as much as ever. I pray and I pray then and I look for sleep and I look for distraction. I know that tomorrow will be a better day. I know that His answers and provision are around the corner. It's Him I need that I may walk that far.