Chasing Ideals

the careful scribe

When you leave and impression
that upon the pages of another's life
may it be a glimmering passage
full of hope
resounding with tones of joy
joy of experience of that other

treat each page
with the delicacy you might
the hands of a child
the petals of a rose when autumn winds threaten

may each stroke
be of finest script
evidence of the care
you bore for them
glistening in words of love
of encouragement
realization of the priviledge of relationship

as years go by
when tears of pain blind that other's eyes
and dwindling hope scarce guide their way
let that they might turn again to this
seeking amidst the stains and wrinkles
left by careless, callous hands
may that glimmer draw them back
may your words be as light
upon their faded countenance
let the hope exuded by the passage
strenghten where marks of others
sought to destroy

this should be the legacy
that of the careful scribe
treating each manuscript
as discovered treasure
that wrought by the creator's hands

real treasure

my niece gazed upon her single Christmas light
turned it over within her pudgy fingers
gasping and giggling
letting its light dance from wall to hand
feeling its heat upon her lips

for some time I pondered
have I known such wonder?
have I gazed upon the commonplace
with the explorative awe of a child?

in sorrowful contemplation I sat
perceiving the loss
but oh my gentle whisper came

"my son but you have something grander
the hearts of my creations
is the treasure which you seek
you have invested in the eternal
relationship and experience of my perfect work
is your reward
where lights will fade
your treasures shall never lose their luster
nor shall their worth ever be surmized"

passing over love

oh what pain of heart
compounded sorrow
that you who sacrificed all
whose love burns as a thousand stars
you that ignited this hope in me
taught me my true name
unlocked the deepest chasms of my heart

that you might be thought an option
one choice amidst the many
that your love once known
might be passed over
set aside in deference to what may sound better

how Lord might my heart not break
how long Lord might my tears flow on your behalf
how Lord does your heart not break
how deep Lord are the rivers of your mourning

for whom is the creator's work

As I descended the valley
filled with expectation at the rise of the sun
I notice the strong hand in mine
that of my truest love
the one whose song my heart now sings

His expression told that same expectation
a childish wonder written in the lines of his face
not for the rising sun
but something deep within my heart

Looking back toward the heavens
rays of light were shooting over the horizon
illuminating first the mountains before me
the the towering rocks along my path

As each aspect came to light
my heart leaped with wondrous joy
a breathtaking awe
at the unveiling of each new masterpiece

How the darkness had shrouded this glorious scence
how it had hinted yet never revealed
the son had come and lit everything in his path
all that been veiled came forth in glory and newness of life

I looked once more to my companion
his gaze still fixed upon my heart
tears of joy streaked his face
a smile of purest love lit his countenance

My love, he leaned toward me
pressing his lips upon my ear
his sweet whisper playing chords upon my heart
"I painted this for you my son
I painted all of this for you"

father's heart

bring your wounded
for he will tend to them
his heart longs
to see their upward smile
to hear the sound of their midnight prayers

why have they stayed away so long?
don't they know the price has been paid
the guilt buried on Calvary

who told them they were not welcome
at the place beside his throne
all this time he has waited
awaited their return
the feast is ready
to be served upon that day
when his tired and weary sons
return from time away

tell them he is waiting
with open arms and a smile
hating the time without them

on that day when he sees them coming
unspeakable joy will fill his heart
his love will once again surround them
the wounded will wonder why they stayed so long apart

Autobiography

I am a broken man
Laid waste by my sinful desires

How long I searched
For a love to make me whole
To fulfill my hearts desire

Many years
Spent masking selfishness with humility
Thinking that the love of this world
And the acceptance of my peers
Could cure the ailments of my heart

Who could I find to accept me?
An Irish lad who could not fit the molds
Pushed into a strange land
A backward boy with backward ways
Too quiet to let himself be known
Scared to let his humanness come alive

My valiant efforts to seal friendships
Doing everything to gain access
To their hearts
All these came to naught

How does one penetrate this society?
The hearts of the people seem so closed
They mask their pain
With shallow intimacy
Big smiles and open mouths
Veil a life
Without meaning
Without purpose

Do they not see their emptiness?
Did I see mine?

How oh Lord
Did you break through this callous heart
Wounded
Broken
Afraid of itself

You could have left me where I was
I had claimed faith in you
But in my heart denied it

I thought you were like daddy
You and he seemed to be so close
But I did not know my daddy's heart
In his arms I did not find my safety
In our relationship there was no peace
Daddy was a broken man also
Your perfect image
He could not match
Your perfect love
He could not reveal

The image I got of you
False
So elsewhere I searched
Though all I need exists in you
But because of selfishness
And the desire to find my own way
I had never found that truth

And then somehow
You rescued me
You found this weeping boy
Head hung low
Eyes which only saw the ground before him

A heart so full of pain and anguish
That words of encouragement
And consolation
Could not mend

But at last you found your true love
Who for so long had run from you

You raised this weary head
And instead of anger
I was welcomed with a smile
That penetrates the hardest heart
Eyes so loving
That all guilt and shame melt away
Arms so strong and gentle
That no weakness can remain

Each part of me
That I detested
Is the treasure for which you seek
Knowing the way you gaze at me
I finally feel complete

Who knew that perfect love
Would conquer this heart of mine
In a world
Where "love" is meaningless
A word used
As flippantly as any other
Used without commitment
Used for personal taste
But how much more it means
In you and you alone

You are the lover of my soul
I will live my life with you
To tell the world
Of true love freely shown
To a broken man
A callous heart
May they also
Find the truth of themselves in you

Help me my love
Make me a pure example of you
Fill my heart
And let no impurities remain

Help me to find all of the pieces
Of this broken man
Left behind along the way

I want to be whole again
For my love
That I may give myself
Completely to you
My love
My all
My Jesus

once stranger now friend

what is buried in the hearts of these strangers?
discover what life these others might bring to mine
new facets of the creator that would otherwise remain hidden
true intimacy creating grace and comfort among us
a gathering point where masks may be left behind
communication of the depths of our hearts
inadequacies vulnerably shared and counsel lovingly given
lonely lives finding freedom joining others in the journey
strangers becoming companions
once living in circles now uniting with others in focus
no longer falling lacking arms to carry them
rather the encouraging tones of new companions
seeing them through the darkest day
their warmth and love
igniting the hopes and joys of life’s finest
what is buried in the hearts of these strangers?
I dare not miss this opportunity to find